Its suffocating me; the plastic wall I created around myself. Its like you want to get out of it, but there is something that is stopping you. You ain't scared, but still there's something thats pulling you back. Its as if you doubt your own capability. Its that something that makes you doubt that.
Its time to take some action and kick uncertainty's butt!
Its high time that the plastic is torn away, and dumped in a dustbin. Its high time to be free of inhibitions filled in the wall and break free. To break all the chains of uncertainty thats binding me inside that wall. High time to give a chance to do something new, something out of routine. Its high time to taste life in a different flavour.
High time to start believing in myself.
High time to break free.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Damn Best Thing...
The other day when I was walking with my parents in the evening (if 7:30pm is defined as evening), I saw a little kiddo, of maybe about 3-4 year old, dressed in a red tee shirt and shorts. He was walking behind his parents, playing with himself.
Suddenly he slipped and fell down. He fell down real hard. I thought he would cry then.
But then the best thing was:He didn't cry. He just got up. He was there; again on his feet and playing like he was before.
Most of us-grown ups, when we fall down in a pool of kichad, we are still there in that. We sit there and cry. We forget to get up and walk again. Forget to try all over again. We forget that this is not the end. There's still more to come, still more to fall, and still more to learn. That (learning) is only possible when we get up and walk again.
Suddenly he slipped and fell down. He fell down real hard. I thought he would cry then.
But then the best thing was:He didn't cry. He just got up. He was there; again on his feet and playing like he was before.
Most of us-grown ups, when we fall down in a pool of kichad, we are still there in that. We sit there and cry. We forget to get up and walk again. Forget to try all over again. We forget that this is not the end. There's still more to come, still more to fall, and still more to learn. That (learning) is only possible when we get up and walk again.
:)
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Power of Touch...
Touch can heal anything. Can heal you off ur pain, or that unknown thing thats scaring you, or just hurt, or whatever uncertainty you're feeling . Nothing can beat mummy's touch.
Nothing could make me feel better, but when I was watching a movie with her, I don't know what came up to me, I just went across her and slept on her lap. I kept my head on her lap and spread across the sofa. Her hands came down, one on my head, other on my back. An instinct I guess.
And at that moment, everything was forgotten. All I could see was a clear blue sky.
Nothing could make me feel better, but when I was watching a movie with her, I don't know what came up to me, I just went across her and slept on her lap. I kept my head on her lap and spread across the sofa. Her hands came down, one on my head, other on my back. An instinct I guess.
And at that moment, everything was forgotten. All I could see was a clear blue sky.
Preserving a Memory
Today:16 August, 2008
10:56AM
A sweet gift my sis got for me when coming back home!! Thanks a tonne!! I should have taken the pic yesterday.. its kinda wilting! :(
I just loved them... Roses..
kept it in a glass.. couldn't find a vase.. rather was tooo lazy to find one! But its pretty!
10:56AM
A sweet gift my sis got for me when coming back home!! Thanks a tonne!! I should have taken the pic yesterday.. its kinda wilting! :(
I just loved them... Roses..
kept it in a glass.. couldn't find a vase.. rather was tooo lazy to find one! But its pretty!
Friday, August 15, 2008
Independent India.. (oh pls!)
Right. Happy Independence day... 61 years of total independence they say.. GREAT!!
Suddenly I see so much of patriotism around. It reminded some of them bout it at least...
But independence? Are we really independent here today???
I agreed with my sister over this matter...
"Yea, India is independent. But the independence is only for the SC and ST's of India. We are still struggling for our independence. The 'open casts'."
Bloody 61 years, and we still live in this stupid cast system. What is that Singh's problem?
Oh yea... Welcome home Akka!! I needed some good company too!! ;)
Suddenly I see so much of patriotism around. It reminded some of them bout it at least...
But independence? Are we really independent here today???
I agreed with my sister over this matter...
"Yea, India is independent. But the independence is only for the SC and ST's of India. We are still struggling for our independence. The 'open casts'."
Bloody 61 years, and we still live in this stupid cast system. What is that Singh's problem?
Oh yea... Welcome home Akka!! I needed some good company too!! ;)
Friday, August 8, 2008
Immobilized
It actually has no face. Even if it has one, its like a face in the dark, a face you cannot recognize. Its hidden in the shadows...
Even though it has no direct relation with you, it still creates some kind of mini storm in your heart, and gives a new kind of vague feeling, which is definitely not enjoyed by anyone. Gives a feeling of fear, a feeling of being followed by that unknown face in the dark.
As if you've done trying fighting with it anymore. The more you fight the stronger it becomes, as if it takes energy from the fear we feel.
Its a dark lane. Its all empty. You are walking alone on that lane. Suddenly you are gripped with some fear. The pace fastens, heart thumps unevenly. The face nears you.
You start running far far away from that face, glancing back to see if you've got rid of it. Face is covered with sweat. The suit is getting drenched. Everything is starting to become uneven... Its so real that you hope its unreal.
Then you wake up. Its a bad dream. But felt so many times. Its not unreal...
Its something which we have to deal with. Almost every time. At least I do. Fight it and win over it. "It" can't be right. I've to be right. My decisions are right. I cant let it rule me.
Does "it" have a name?
Yes it does..
And "it" is named as??
"It" is uncertainty.
Even though it has no direct relation with you, it still creates some kind of mini storm in your heart, and gives a new kind of vague feeling, which is definitely not enjoyed by anyone. Gives a feeling of fear, a feeling of being followed by that unknown face in the dark.
As if you've done trying fighting with it anymore. The more you fight the stronger it becomes, as if it takes energy from the fear we feel.
Its a dark lane. Its all empty. You are walking alone on that lane. Suddenly you are gripped with some fear. The pace fastens, heart thumps unevenly. The face nears you.
You start running far far away from that face, glancing back to see if you've got rid of it. Face is covered with sweat. The suit is getting drenched. Everything is starting to become uneven... Its so real that you hope its unreal.
Then you wake up. Its a bad dream. But felt so many times. Its not unreal...
Its something which we have to deal with. Almost every time. At least I do. Fight it and win over it. "It" can't be right. I've to be right. My decisions are right. I cant let it rule me.
Does "it" have a name?
Yes it does..
And "it" is named as??
"It" is uncertainty.
This is BAD!!!
I got to know it from my bro....
One more kind of garfield strips has released (in Feb 2008)!! Named Garfield Minus Garfield! Whaat!!! Oh please!! Thats really bad! Theres no life to the strips without Garfield!! John's life as shown in those strip will be similar to Garfield Lover's life as well!!
Garfield rocks!! Shoot Garfield Minus Garfield!
How did u get to know bout it bro?
One more kind of garfield strips has released (in Feb 2008)!! Named Garfield Minus Garfield! Whaat!!! Oh please!! Thats really bad! Theres no life to the strips without Garfield!! John's life as shown in those strip will be similar to Garfield Lover's life as well!!
Garfield rocks!! Shoot Garfield Minus Garfield!
How did u get to know bout it bro?
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
The Party...
he night life in Bangalore really rocks!! Even if the dance pubs are supposed to close down by 11:30Pm something, it still does rock!! Poor Banglorian party animals have to find refuge in some other places in Karnataka. The night is quite, no music blaring... The road is empty. But still it rocks and still there's a party out there!
I'll explain.
Anyone is invited.The Party takes place every night.
Venu: Koi bhi gali.
The party starts by 12:00Am. When people put off their lights (common one's like me), dogs put up theirs! Yea... the party is hosted by the stray kutte party of Bangalore! Man it does rock! They bark and bark and bark! They bark for god known reason... It so rocks that other gali ke kutte too start barking with them. And the volume of "music" goes way beyond maybe 50Db (At night!)...
They keep me on my toes too! I was missing the party so much that I started pacing the rooms at night! Closing the windows didn't help.
In mid, came the barking crackers. Meaning, groups of dogs starting barking randomly, there was so much of commotion that it sounded like some crackers were being burst! Kutta logo ke pass bhi crackers hai!! wah re wah! They did party hard... And boozed heavily! I could make it out cos one bewda started howling suddenly and other bewdas followed the suit. It seems they found it cool! Man, the howling was so so spooky(for me!!) that it reminded me of horror moive ghosts!
I felt sooo left out that I couldn't bear their "happy" howlings. I had to plug into my walkman and play my own music (which I could understand). I had to make the volume blaring cos, the kutta party was too much for me! It drove me into tears! *snif snif!*
It was around 2Am that it was suddenly so calm! I mean the kutta party was over! Maybe some "police" (Read: A normal person like me) must have kicked them out of the "streets".
I smiled. I could unplug from that music and finally get some sleep. I could open the windows to let the fresh breeze come in.
What on earth are those muncipal ppl doing??? The number of stray dogs on streets per area is more than number of humans inhabiting in that area!
My god! Kutto ka kya "kaal" hai!
They are still barking, at this hour in morning, thanking me, for writing a review on their party stints.
bow wow!
I'll explain.
Anyone is invited.The Party takes place every night.
Venu: Koi bhi gali.
The party starts by 12:00Am. When people put off their lights (common one's like me), dogs put up theirs! Yea... the party is hosted by the stray kutte party of Bangalore! Man it does rock! They bark and bark and bark! They bark for god known reason... It so rocks that other gali ke kutte too start barking with them. And the volume of "music" goes way beyond maybe 50Db (At night!)...
They keep me on my toes too! I was missing the party so much that I started pacing the rooms at night! Closing the windows didn't help.
In mid, came the barking crackers. Meaning, groups of dogs starting barking randomly, there was so much of commotion that it sounded like some crackers were being burst! Kutta logo ke pass bhi crackers hai!! wah re wah! They did party hard... And boozed heavily! I could make it out cos one bewda started howling suddenly and other bewdas followed the suit. It seems they found it cool! Man, the howling was so so spooky(for me!!) that it reminded me of horror moive ghosts!
I felt sooo left out that I couldn't bear their "happy" howlings. I had to plug into my walkman and play my own music (which I could understand). I had to make the volume blaring cos, the kutta party was too much for me! It drove me into tears! *snif snif!*
It was around 2Am that it was suddenly so calm! I mean the kutta party was over! Maybe some "police" (Read: A normal person like me) must have kicked them out of the "streets".
I smiled. I could unplug from that music and finally get some sleep. I could open the windows to let the fresh breeze come in.
What on earth are those muncipal ppl doing??? The number of stray dogs on streets per area is more than number of humans inhabiting in that area!
My god! Kutto ka kya "kaal" hai!
They are still barking, at this hour in morning, thanking me, for writing a review on their party stints.
bow wow!
Monday, August 4, 2008
Zombie
Hello??? Anything interesting out there???? Its starting to get monotonous!! Hello??
What the hell am I writing out here? Nothing but shit! Anything worth thinking of? Tired of it...
I'm en-route to becoming a Zombie... Already one maybe..
NIIT exams approaching, and I dont give a shit bout it either! I've four days left... and I still have so much to do. Moving at a snails pace!
Bloody, I could finish probability chapter faster than this shitty thing!
Hello Mr.Interesting, would you please stop playing Peak a boo???
What the hell am I writing out here? Nothing but shit! Anything worth thinking of? Tired of it...
I'm en-route to becoming a Zombie... Already one maybe..
NIIT exams approaching, and I dont give a shit bout it either! I've four days left... and I still have so much to do. Moving at a snails pace!
Bloody, I could finish probability chapter faster than this shitty thing!
Hello Mr.Interesting, would you please stop playing Peak a boo???
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Physics and Life...
Weird combo I'm gonna put into...
What the hell, who cares???
Here it goes...
Law of conservation: Energy can neither be created nor destroyed.
True.
Nothing will be destroyed completely, it will be still there in some form. Burn a wood, you get ash. How do u destroy it??
There comes a wind, woooooooosh.. and there goes the ash... spreads wherever the wind takes it. Its still there somewhere in some end of this big earth, never destroyed.
If applied in daily life, stands true. Not in physics sense of course! I was sweeping the floor for Amma (what else to do?? vacation!) and suddenly this thought came in... It does not stand exactly with that law, but then some similarity...
The thought: (ahem ahem)
I found a place, met a friend.
Broke the ice, and joined the hearts.
Got so close, everything was shared.
Found great happiness, in little things there.
Then came a time, to take a decision.
Time to leave, decision was taken.
Heart was broken, but everything was numb.
Everything was prepared, and all was done.
Found another place, and met many friends.
Broke the ice, but hearts failed to join.
Many were there, but still there were none.
Lost the happiness, in every little things.
Then came a void, and nothing could fill.
Almost gave up, until I met thee.
Heart was healed, feelings regained.
Everything was regained, when nothing was lost.
Ahhh.. It just came out... :)
What I meant to say was, I missed something, and the void was created cos of that. I thought it was destroyed... But realized natures beauty today: Nothing can be destroyed. It still stays in one form or the other. Just like that wood burnt into ash. It has everything prepared, to replace the void. But it sends, when the time is proper. It is timed... So seems for everything else too, to me at least.
It wont exactly replace. Nothing can replace anything. Everything has a special place, in our hearts. Its that big I know. But then, some solace comes in one form or the other. That is replaced. Everything has to heal in time, and then move on with the life.
Thats life. And its really beautiful.
A beautiful poem ever written.
What the hell, who cares???
Here it goes...
Law of conservation: Energy can neither be created nor destroyed.
True.
Nothing will be destroyed completely, it will be still there in some form. Burn a wood, you get ash. How do u destroy it??
There comes a wind, woooooooosh.. and there goes the ash... spreads wherever the wind takes it. Its still there somewhere in some end of this big earth, never destroyed.
If applied in daily life, stands true. Not in physics sense of course! I was sweeping the floor for Amma (what else to do?? vacation!) and suddenly this thought came in... It does not stand exactly with that law, but then some similarity...
The thought: (ahem ahem)
I found a place, met a friend.
Broke the ice, and joined the hearts.
Got so close, everything was shared.
Found great happiness, in little things there.
Then came a time, to take a decision.
Time to leave, decision was taken.
Heart was broken, but everything was numb.
Everything was prepared, and all was done.
Found another place, and met many friends.
Broke the ice, but hearts failed to join.
Many were there, but still there were none.
Lost the happiness, in every little things.
Then came a void, and nothing could fill.
Almost gave up, until I met thee.
Heart was healed, feelings regained.
Everything was regained, when nothing was lost.
Ahhh.. It just came out... :)
What I meant to say was, I missed something, and the void was created cos of that. I thought it was destroyed... But realized natures beauty today: Nothing can be destroyed. It still stays in one form or the other. Just like that wood burnt into ash. It has everything prepared, to replace the void. But it sends, when the time is proper. It is timed... So seems for everything else too, to me at least.
It wont exactly replace. Nothing can replace anything. Everything has a special place, in our hearts. Its that big I know. But then, some solace comes in one form or the other. That is replaced. Everything has to heal in time, and then move on with the life.
Thats life. And its really beautiful.
A beautiful poem ever written.
Feel the essence of life!
A lovely discovery of the discoverer!
The best discovery was the walk, which is as beautiful and fresh as that lovely spring, with birds twittering, and colourful butterflies on pretty flowers, in the background, when those two are walking...
The best walk ever!!
Kudos!
The best discovery was the walk, which is as beautiful and fresh as that lovely spring, with birds twittering, and colourful butterflies on pretty flowers, in the background, when those two are walking...
The best walk ever!!
Kudos!
Longing
The night was cold
The breeze was soft
The crickets cried
While babies laughed
She lay on her bed
With thoughts a lot
Her body was cold
But tears were warm
A message to a friend
A call not answered
She was left alone
Craving for a human touch
Blanket kept her warm
But still she shivered
She was there for all
But who's there for her?
That night she slept
With a teddy clutched to her heart
That night she was
The loneliest of all.
The night went down
The sun came up
The morning was warm
So was her laugh
In that laugh
Was embedded her sorrow
For to be felt
And known to her alone
This was one of my scariest nightmares! It almost made me wanna pee (I got up in time! ;) )
The nightmare in the form of a poem..
The breeze was soft
The crickets cried
While babies laughed
She lay on her bed
With thoughts a lot
Her body was cold
But tears were warm
A message to a friend
A call not answered
She was left alone
Craving for a human touch
Blanket kept her warm
But still she shivered
She was there for all
But who's there for her?
That night she slept
With a teddy clutched to her heart
That night she was
The loneliest of all.
The night went down
The sun came up
The morning was warm
So was her laugh
In that laugh
Was embedded her sorrow
For to be felt
And known to her alone
This was one of my scariest nightmares! It almost made me wanna pee (I got up in time! ;) )
The nightmare in the form of a poem..
Friday, August 1, 2008
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