Being Silly

This big world is such a small world. Like a circle.
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Movie Wishes

Wish life had movie like ending. You know where you finally realize who/what you are and what you want. And what you really love. And a bonus, brownie point with that, a happy ending.
Wish fiction was as real as reality.
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Silly Why's

 Why is it that we want things we cannot have? The more difficult, more the desire of having it. Why only those things?

Why can't we stick with the belief that we can be totally independent? Why the, you never know when  you'll need someone statement?

Why the doubts? Self given reasons aren't enough?

Why manipulate yourself or your mood for others? Don't you then cease to exist as yourself?

Why is no so hard to digest even when you say you didn't expect anything out of it? How does hope creep in even when you turn into a complete cynic?

Why is that when you need to be very serious, mind distracts you with thoughts which should never be touched again?

Why the uncertainties?

Why is it so difficult to understand what you actually want?

Why is it so difficult to reach a semi final conclusion of understanding what you are?

Why is it so difficult to talk again to a person who was close to you but you now started disliking? Why so difficult to forgive then? Gives the ultimate kiddish feeling.

Why cannot pride and ego be important at "times"?

And why to answer everyone's why?
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Stupidity?

Whining on something that you want bad. You want it and you want it somehow. Finally, suddenly you start getting it. You are startled. You are happy, but you develop cold feet and start pushing that one thing you wanted away, in a subtle way. And when it is almost gone, you realize what you have done, and then feel bad. And almost wish it happens again hoping that the damage is not huge, so that you can act right this time. 

Makes me wonder is it sheer stupidity? Is it something we don't really want and are simply stubborn about having it? Or is it a bad reaction to a surprise of actually beginning to get what you wanted when almost thought of giving up on it? :D
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Detachment from attachment?

I made a friend of mine almost cry yesterday (yea, notorious me :P)
How?
It was a casually said statement on complete detachment after college ends. And I never knew she was so attached to me. And I am blind to others who might be attached to me. I never got attached. I refuse to attach.

Ruthless and mean. An unannounced departure with no specific promise of return. Very unceremonious, ungraceful way of getting recluse. Queries are unanswered, and "gracefully" welcomed with curses when arrive unannounced again. I can see they care. And it is beautiful that some understand this flaw of wanting to go away in me now and don't misunderstand it. Had bad history on it :P

It all must be a self protection mechanism. Darwin's theory of Survival of the Fittest. If you don't develop a strong immunity to a recurring problem, you'll succumb to it. That is the theory. And it stands true. Probably once hurt and misunderstood made me build a strong impermeable wall. I am seeing me first and I don't want me to be hurt, again.

Result: Detachment from attachment.
Simple and doesn't hurt.
And I know this is not healthy or good. I cannot be like this, "unstable" sorts, especially if I ever fall in love, again.(With this rate? yea right!) One burn was enough for me :P

To You...

 My heart sings it, it wants say: I'm  yours, and yours till today. Today is present, and my present is you. Whatever happens, I want to be with you. To hold your hand, and walk on beach. A silent company, sky turning orange. Look in my eyes, it says it all. I love you now, I'm all yours.

Leaning on a tree in the park, casual day and we dream together. Together we build, a plan, our life. As distant as the dream it seems, a will kept alive by the passion to gain. I have you, what more do I need? You are my pillar. My strength. My angel. With you my love, there is nothing I can't win.

A touch of support. eyes full of patience as I try. Fail I might at times, but you are there with that smile as I am for you. That's all I want.

A kiss in the rain, a slow dance. Sleeping on the grass, watching the stars; running my fingers in your thick black hair. A smile on my lips, you watch  me sleep. When the morning rays shine on the dew, the sparke will make me think of you. Hugging me tight, feeling your breath on my neck, Makinng my heart sing like tinkling bells..

Tinkling with joy when I hear your laughter, tickling you more till you surrender. A kiss on your nose, to wish you good day.

Frown on your lips makes my heart melt. A kiss on your lips to make it all well. A hot mug of coca shared sitting in a blanket, watching it rain with a smile on our lips. They are the raindrops of happiness and love for you and me.

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I am "fine"

The whole world was upright when you were there.

With you beside me, for nothing else I cared.

Now with you gone, its upside down again.

I see you walk away, taking a part of me away 

It’ll stay with you for me; I refuse to take it back.

I refuse because I have to be strong.

It may have been long lost, for you killed that part in you.

Emotions buried alive, suffocated to death

It tried to breathe, but you refused to touch

You had lost the will, said you wanted it to die

I could do nothing, but listen with a tear in my eye

Gathering all the strength, I still tried to fight

How could I fight anymore, when you refused to see?

No tolerance, no will, no love left to breathe

Everything dead and heartless, no tears left to weep

This is how was, when failure kissed my lips

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