Full stop

In an attempt to preserve the memories of the 'moment', I penned it down. A mistake.

As soon as I finished writing it, it left me that instant. The sweet feeling when thought about it was not there anymore. It didn't have the lullaby effect when I was unable to sleep and thought about it.

I read that again say months later, I probably wouldn't be having a clue about what I'm talking about there. This phase of no specifics will make the then me want to kill the now me. Or probably feel happy that it is forgotten. I don't know.

I don't like it though. I wouldn't want to say that I'm scared that I wouldn't remember these things years later. That is exactly that probably. But what the hey, I prefer the goosebumps and the smiles stay when I think of it. Being on mind sounds better than on paper or blog. It can fade, it can stay.

Writing stops.
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No Return.

Its a beautiful feeling, doing what you feel like, at that very moment; not days later. That has stronger feeling of euphoria than doing it days later. Pleasure is the only thing that matters. Happiness. Even if it is having that one flavor of ice cream from that one particular brand only. Going all the way down there to have that. Call it being crazy. (though there was other work too :D)

And getting what you strongly wanted. Sometimes, when it is right front of you (what you strongly wanted), shrieking in  your face, you forget for a moment that this is what you wanted. You doubt it, and then decide against it and walk past it. Then you suddenly realize what you did, and run back again to get it. And sticking to what you wanted and having it, is another beautiful feeling.

I now wonder, how many such things I missed because I wasn't attentive enough. Cannot undo. All it matters is, I didn't do it again this time. And that is a wonderful feeling.


The main thing is, knowing what you exactly want, pursuing it, and sticking to it. Sticking, probably optional, who knows what it will be when time changes.
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The Geeky Boy Gentleman

When it comes to a person, I decided not to put a full stop about them anymore. I love the way when something unknown and unexpected part of a person is suddenly revealed.. Like a surprise. It gave me the feeling that, I really don't know that person yet and still there is so much to discover. And honestly, it is best when it is kept that way. Let me discover the unsaid, hidden nature.

Its like, "I show one face to the world when I am really something else". Like abstraction. What looks poker, is actually highly animated. What looks sober, is at times total opposite of it. And when that one streak is discovered, it is amazing.

Today was the day of subtle craziness. Walking out of a "window" from the first floor on the cranky ramp. The best part was, it was known about my infamous accidental nature, still I was allowed to walk down at my own pace. I was trusted and not treated like a kid. For a moment I felt like a princess walking down the broken staircase (the way they were looking at me :P) The geek, took a step forward, just to give me his hand, in case I slipped. No one wanted a cracked bloody skull. This was the best part of my day today. And I found one more piece of my 'want' puzzle. 

Lets be crazy and not overly protective. But give me your hand when I am about to fall. Don't treat me like a baby. Let us be you and me. Let me not say everything, or you. Lets just find out. Simple.

At first, the "hits" on my head were to irritate me. And it slowly transformed to sorta a pat on my head every time bye was said.

And the gentleman will be bloating in an ungentlemanly manner now. :P

Thanks to you, I remembered suddenly changing our plans and driving to a "secret place", climbing up a wall there with my best friend, just to sit and watch the sun set, silently. :)
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