Flashback (smirk)

You don’t have to experience a near death experience to see your whole life flash in front of you. Who has time for the whole flash back any ways? Unless you think you have eternity of time free in front of you. (Read: jobless)

Some memories or some instances are enough to trigger the whole time spent with that special person. Brings smile. Who cares about the rest? It’s easy to block and forget the painful ones, like it never ever happened. There’s lot more to think about and do than to sit and ponder over bullshits.

This was just a reason. Bacche if you ever happen to read this, I miss you a lot kiddo. I was comfortable around you. Very much myself. I smiled a lot and needed no reason, because it was you. Even sitting side by side and being silent didn’t matter. It still was very natural and comfortable. Your hug is still pending bacche.

All this was just a complicated way to say I miss you. You are the sweetest person I ever met till now : )

Goa

Nothing to do with the title. Some random scribbles again when I was in and after I came back from Goa. A well deserved break I say! Was awesome! Amazing place!

In Goa:

Wishing it was yesterday today,
yesterday i lived in present.
I never was so alive.
Unwanted past dead easy.
I see my mistake, still its the same today;
wishing it was yesterday when today can be as alive as yesterday.
I only have to do what I did yesterday: "Live in present"

Seems like yesterday
I stepped into the silky sand,
salty sea, reddish sun,
I turned back to see you three (+4) :D
We laughed, joked and had fun
But all that had mattered was we were together
(I wrote this on a tissue paper for VS, the day we were to leave)

My eyes are heavy.
Breathing very deep
Totally relaxed and comfortable with evenings and self company.
I smile in my sleep (did when in bus)
Its past midnight, I'm heavily sleepy but still savoring this feeling. And calmer than i ever was. It feels wonderful.
I'm free.

Back home:

Head resting on the pillow,
eyes shut with my hand caressing my hair,
No thoughts in my mind,
Nothing but peaceful silence,
I see sky, cloudless blue and white.
Lost I was in my silent mind,
I was asleep before I totally smiled.


SILENCE

Silence heals.
Silence creates distance.
Silence gives time to think.
Silence gives peace.
Silence irritates some.
Silence makes some.
Silence breaks some.
Silence speaks every thing.
Silent company is hard to keep, but its wonderful and unique.
Silence is powerful.

Random Scribblings

Some things in my life will remain untouched and incomplete. However big my desire to have it, it will remain untouched. Even after however way I wanted it is dead is or is hopelessly impossible. I wanted it that way, and I shall have it that way. No force will work. I want it that way and that's it. Final.

Fantasies turned into dreams, I knew not when. I want to fulfill them, but I cannot touch them for its now forbidden to touch or venture. I burn to touch them, but its doused for some private good. And there, another dream dies. At the same time, in the corner of my heart, a new dream takes birth.

Love kissed me. Along with it came its beauty. It smelled so sweet that I was dazed. World seen in a different view. Its beautiful, innocent and intense. It made me feel complete.

Old habits never die. Sometimes they just disappear without a notice, for a long time maybe. A whiff of it and bang there it is back again. Addictive addiction.

Lost, are you? You think so? Stand in front of a mirror. There! You found yourself. And you thought you left yourself somewhere when you were with yourself all along.

Hatred, why trouble me now? Didn't I deal with you a few years back? Let it go, lets live in peace. Lean to forgive too. Why hurt someone just because someone hurt you? Sounds cool to do it or get back at people, but they are humans with emotions too.

He's violent but at the same time mellow. He's moody but at the same time extremely irresistible. But all are not him. How can it be? I want to believe in him, at the same don't. I want to be with him at the same time run away. Am I comfortable around him, or do I shiver thinking of him I'm uncertain. But I'm certain that I'm in love with him, no matter what he is.

There is this whole world, you and me. I listened to you to help the world, and gave it my best. I listened to me once and thought about me. I said to hell with it, for once let it be me. I"m both generous and selfish. I choose to be selfish today. Whats wrong in being selfish for a while? I'm my world.

Nothing ends. It always continues in some form or the other. Its always alive.

I know I'm the best. Who do you think you are to even think to evaluate me? Do I know you?

Baby Memory

Sometimes, I wish I had a memory like babies when it comes to emotions. Remember everything when its around me, alive and happy. I'll laugh and smile with it. Enjoy it and be with it. And forget it in a week or so when its gone. Saves me the pain and hurt. And the best part is the memory is gone forever.(Sometimes some memories are best gone forever) It won't haunt me, EVER. Like it never ever happened. Existence gone.

I'll be happy forever. :)

But then there is no happiness without pain, like no rainbow without rain. This is what makes me grown up. :)

Only Love is Real...

Silent walk in a sunny field
Things unsaid
But love was real

Time flew by
Love was known
Some things were
Still unknown

Years passed by
Love still strong
They walked on
Hand in hand

Piled up were
Unsaid things
And they thought
Only love is real

Little did they know
The time was up
Everything was breaking up
How strong love was
They had to see
Unsaid was still locked with no key

To break the lock
Or let it go
In the end one just
Let it go

On tired hard
Other backed off
Their love was lost in a trunk
Reasons given to kill it
One cried hard
Other shrugged

Days passed by
And they met
Decision was regretted
But it was way too late
And one realized

Only love is real.