Poem

Broken strings
Can be mended,
But the heart denies.
Broken heart
Can be joined
But the stings deny.

Raining

Today: 26 August, 2009
Wednesday

Soothing breeze, graying clouds
Coconut trees, swung side by side
Dry green grass, wet again
It is raining

A silent walk, kid shrieking inside
Muddy road, avoiding puddles
Slippers are wet, mud stuck on it
It is raining

Beside a window, in a bus
Looking out, rain running down the widow
Condensed, frosted window
It is raining

Zooming cars, splashing water
Head rests on the glass, enjoying the air
A little drop lands, kissing my nose
It is raining

A man dressed in white, big turban on his head
Kids jumping, splashing water in air
A flower in the corner, dew on its petals
It is raining

Sun peeked out, from its veil of clouds
Rosy sky, with the air of romance
Woman hugging her guy, ride on the bike
It is raining

Bangalore is beautiful :)

Today

Day started with light drizzle and me refusing to get out of bed. The weather was cozy and cold. I some how got up, and mom refused to make breakfast for me (read: sandwich). I felt lazy to make one for myself and just had a cup of milk.

Mom was making lasagna and I was helping her (cos she asked for it and cos it was made specially for me). Dad puts on the radio and they play: Ae mere watan ke logon...(Read: )

Happy Independence day!

What irked me was, today is Independence day and today they (read: radio) remember they are Indians! Today they remember all the jawans. Today its Jai Hind, else it would have been "mangalam mangalam" regularly. Today they will ask all questions on "How Indian do u feel?" and types. Rest of the times it would be, "Do you think I can play 13 songs in an hour? Prove me wrong and win 13000/-!" and types.

But still while helping mom, couldnt help remembering the "good old" school days. Both of us. Mom was actually singing along with the radio. And she told me how they would run back at home when they would ring the siren during 1960's something during the Indo-China war. And why they would have to do that and all..
And she telling me how she loves this song and that one..

And I couldn't help remembering how we would prepare for the "D day" for competetions. And remembering that I had danced on almost all the songs they were playing. Coming to school dressed in white, standing in our respective groups and standing, saluting and singing the national anthem and feeling proud. I acutally missed all this.

Thinking of all that made me feel all that feelings all agian. I did think about the jawans for a while too. They are one brave people. :) I miss singing the national anthem.. :(

Happy 62nd Independence day!!

Anyone for a game of scrabbles? :D

The Push

This video link was sent to me by my sister (via my aunt) through a mail. Its a lovely 3 min video.
Its inspired by the book : Even Eagles Need A Push.

This is the link to the video.

Stop!

Enough. Turn around and run towards it. You are no more a kid to be afraid of dark. There are no monsters below your bed to be scared of. You are no more a kid to give reasons to be scared of.

Its high time to not to leave things half done. Its high time to be sure of things. If sure of things, its high time to believe in them and stick to it.

Enough!

Turn around and face it. You are a fighter, never forget that. You never gave up, and even now you wont. You are born to win, not to whimper.

So, turn around and face it. Let the breeze touch you, don't shudder. Turn around and feel it. Don't be scared of it. Do what you love, without leaving it. You'll start enjoying it.

Thank You :)

Just when I was on the verge of giving up, these guys helped me.
Just when I thought I'm alone, these guys were there for me.
This post is dedicated to them.

I want to thank them for reminding me my strength when I thought I am weak.
Some of them didn't even realize that they had helped me. A small gesture or talk was enough for me.

I know I'm doing something I never did here. But then there's always the first time for everything :)

Thank you guys:

MJ - I'll get back to you for troubling me, you monkey butt! But then, you embarrassed me so much with my own message that day that I wont mention the "k" or "s" word again. If you are smart, you'll understand what I'm talking. :P

Thanks for the cake. I actually enjoyed blowing the candle on the cupcake. ;).
Its ok to show that you do care, you JA. :)

Dolly - You helped me put a full stop. Lets keep more of sudden visits. I love you! Oh and that tearing part has really helped me :D

Eleena - Thanks for slapping me :D I need that now and then to get my head back on track.

Villain - You made me see myself in my old light again. Thanks for reminding me that I've much better things ahead of me.

You were the wasp who had stung me back to my senses. :D Your treat is due when I next land in Mumbai. Pakka. :D

Apoorva - Thanks for giving my number to Prathiba Ballal Ma'm. You know how things went after that :) Thanks for listening to me. I realized many things when I was talking with you.

Ishan - You listened to me without yelling back when I took out my frustrations on you. I'm sholly. I am really happy our chemistry is the same now as it was back in school. :) (See, I mentioned you :D )

Karan - I enjoy being a kid around you. I mean it brings it out. Keep yelling at me to ping back at you. :)

and the special of all

Jiya - She just smiled at me everyday, making me smile broadly when she displayed her two cute chutu teeths. . I would just love it when she would "hug" and fall asleep on me. I miss you baabu and I love you a lot.

Pigeons :)

They are irritating. The shit all around in my mother's beautiful balcony garden. And there is lot of pigeon wings around too. They gutar goo-ed when I needed it to be quiet and peaceful and that would irk me even more! :)

One fine day, in the corner of the wall, in a beautiful plant pot, mom found an tiny egg. It was beautifully placed. It was like the pigeon had first sat on it, made a beautiful space among the leaves (It was like there is a hole in between and the leaves are diverging from below) and then laid her egg. :)

She choose a beautiful spot too. Beside that plant pot, there were bloomed button red roses. In front, a bi-coloured hibiscus kali. And diagonally bunch of purple periwinkle flowers. If you see it in pigeon's point of view (:D), she had chosen a beautiful mini garden in front of her "home".

There is no more irritation now. I smile looking at it. Everything is happening simultaneously at the right time.

I am waiting to see the egg hatch now and see her tillu baby.

The most beautiful thing in this world: a birth.

Bangalore

I never thought I'll be writing on this some day!

Every day I got up cursing her, and today I noticed her, and god, she is beautiful. Every time I traveled, there would be some music filling my ears, and my eyes would be shut, or looking down at the road. Few weeks back, I looked up.Today I actually saw her, and this time music was some background sound, and I got attached to her. She is awesome.

I learnt a lot here. I cursed, but still I learnt.

I came out of an illusion. Illusion called love. I must have forced myself to believe in it. And later I "thought" I felt it. She reminded me, and asked me, "What was it that you always believed in?"

I listened to someone, and went ahead. It had to fail. And for the first time I'm happy it failed! I'm free of my pact.

When in love, I was changed. My ideas where almost forced to change. I was "made" to believe in things I didn't. By made I was not forced, but made believe that those ideas ARE right. I forgot mine.

And then now I asked, "What was it that I always believed in?"

I know things will work fine now. I know what I really want. I know my challenges, and I know my goals.

Its not that I learnt nothing out of it. I learnt how to be ruthless. Its needed if I have to survive.

She made me see how far I can go to get what I really want. I just have to see how far I can push myself to get it. :) She made me really see how ambitious I can be. And I was myself surprised. I no more see a big "?" anymore.

Though I hated some of her "children". They would be interested in others lives than their own. It was irritating. I suffered cos of that. But then I saw, few select "typical" ones were like that. I met the best of people here too. And those who didn't even know me, were ready to help me. This is best here. People do help.

I wold get irritated initially when I wouldn't understand when her people would speak in Kannada. I would ask them to speak in English/Hindi. They would just smile and continue in Kannada. Now I know why. That is to make me learn. And some of them really help me out with it. If not speak, I can understand bits of it. :) That's the way some people indirectly try to help.

Her curly scripts I can't read all. I read it slow. But still I love trying to read it, and then read the English version below and smile when I'm correct. She makes me want to learn her script sometimes.

Then comes to calling it the garden city. I talked ruff about this part. It was cos I never saw up. Today I saw it and I fell in love with some areas. Say for example R T Nagar. I've come to love the colour green cos of her. Its lovely to see a tree on the side of the road, and some yellow flowers fallen around it. Looks gorgeous!

Only flaw is, its too polluted! Gives me a running nose! And another biggest flaw is smokers! There is no place where you wont find smokers! I can make an exception: Lalbagh! Its beautiful there!

The weather is so so awesome here that it makes her look even more beautiful and fresh. Especially after it has rained, and when it is still cloudy. Though the sunny sun burns my skin as if there is think ozone layer here!

I live in north Bangalore. I can go all the way down to south Bangalore alone. Myself. She made me confident. She has awesome bus service! :D I love her for that! (Though I'm still uncomfortable waiting in a crowded place :( )

She has made me love my own company again. I'm comfortable with myself now. I joined my college because I loved the peaceful air there, especially in the park. I can now go there and sit by my myself with a book in my favorite spot there. Its one particular bench, surrounded by trees. And some birds chirping with some soft breeze. And some monkeys jumping sometimes on the trees :D

I was unable to walk alone with the sound. I had to listen to music when I walk. Yesterday I could walk without any music. I walked with the sound of rain splattering on my umbrella.

I enjoy walking looking at the sky and her trees. Its lovely.

I'm falling so much in love with her, that I guess I'm getting attached to her. I might find it difficult to leave. Maybe I wont leave. :) She has taught me so much, and helped me build so much.

She's not so bad after all! All I had to do was, give her a chance. :)