Confused(?) Pondering

How do I know if I'm in love with the person or in love with the idea of the person? Or is it just the comfort?
Probably I just took one step back. (?)

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Missing Ms. Jane

Wake up, wake up. Closing your eyes to everything won't make it less real. Blocking everything away won't make it disappear. Looking away from it won't make it invisible.

Whatever happened to "you"?

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Steps

There is this small bubble of happiness when I feel I learnt something. Then I learn something much more about it and then, I have to take a step back to "I still know nothing". There is so much about it that, that little something is equivalent to nothing. Basics is not satisfying. Here, the best part is, I can take a step back with a feeling of still so much more to learn. When that is there, it is still new.

And then there are some steps which once taken, I can never take a step back. It is like once that emotion is felt, I cannot go back to the feeling it for the "first time". The innocence is gone, and there is perfect understanding of some things. Here, the best part is, I can take steps ahead, walk on and find something new.And probably better.

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On reactions

There is a perfect conscious understanding to some conditions. Once it is attained, some sudden situation/instance shouldn't be affecting a mood, right? It is totally unacceptable. And then calling that reason idiopathic because there is pretense of denial, pretense of not knowing, when there is perfect understanding and knowledge of the cause.

Whatever it is that affects, can cause such bad breakdown of the system that one perfect solution is attained by the end of the quiet night. And it works till the next evening. Twilight kills it. Same solution is attained again, this time it will last for few weeks. And the cycle goes on.

The ultimate solution to end all that disturbing reactions is to kill the whole root, stay firm on the detachment theory, and never ever look back. All this done after putting up a last fight.

Anything to get peace of mind in peaceful way.
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Wish

Just wish some things never EVER happened. I hope this doesn't come in regretting. Because it is not that. Just don't like the consequences.

Can someone please invent time machine? And fast!
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Paused

There is no definite time to stop. There is no definite time to start. It is ok to pause if it really is an integral part. Time is change. Change is constant.

There will be contradictions. Like some now. If there are none for a long time, then there is no attachment. If it is difficult to take the step, just pause it for a while. While can be as long as self defines at different times.Time changes and change will always be constant. So will be the phases, the stupidity and the moods. :)
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