GIRLS!!!

I don't know what kind of behavioral insanity girls suffer from here. Its so typical! I noticed it here.

The bus stops at a bus-stop. A group of chattering girls get into the bus. There's no place to sit, so they stand and chatter. The bus starts moving.

Suddenly the driver applies brake for some reason (depends on each situation). This break is bit harder than the normal ones. These girls, I don't understand their god known reason, why they can't stand properly. They move in front cos of the impact (kuch jada hi!).. After this, they look at each other and go "hehehehehehehehehehehe" for almost 2 minutes. It happened today also! Its so bloody irritating!

I dont understand the reason, nor do I understand their brains. Those typical girls! I guess they have dung in their skull instead of a brain. Who do nothing but giggle most of the time for no reason, talk bout serials, movies, heros and GOSSIP! No wonder I don't get along with most of them (typical ones)!

GIRLS!!!

Of Pass Bus...

July 31, 2008
Thursday

Me and mom were standing on the bus-stop waiting for a bus today.

A green bus came at the stop. "Pass Bus" was written on the bus. Meaning those with pass can get in that bus. Since we had got pass for today (30Re for each pass), me and mom climbed into that bus. Along with us, some girls got into the bus too. A girl in pink salwar stood beside our seat.

Those girls, when they got in told the driver, "pass" (Meaning they have pass with them. This is a usual way ppl tell conductors in BMTC buses when they ask for tickets).

I couldn't help commenting. I asked mom, "This is a pass bus, isn't it obvious that people who have pass, can only get into this bus?" The girl in pink heard what I said and started smiling.

People can get so stupid sometimes, and so bloody lazy to show their passes, but just say "pass". Might be fooling the driver and getting a free trip. Driver says "bani bani" when they say "pass". And he was a rash driver this one!

So stupid!
And I thought this is a metro city.

Indian Expertise

Today: July 24, 2008

1. The Serial "Spitters"

• Especially seen when in bus. Some drivers (while driving), and some passengers, chew paan or ghutka or whatever and spit it out of the window, when the bus is moving. It’s thrown with such expertise that their spit lands on a fellow driver or some innocent pedestrian.

• Other is “certain” pedestrians, who just can’t help simply spitting on the roads. They might themselves walk on it later.

Literally GROSS!

2. The Serial “Shitters”

• Indian Government doesn’t have enough money to build at least one public lavatory (Pune). Even if so many are provided (Bangalore), people have that great urge to keep them (lavatories, not surrounding) so clean that they go out on the roads or in the jhaadis or near the gutter and answer the nature’s call. “Its natural fertilizer you know!” (Too Kanjoos to fish out 1Re for using those lavatories) Yea right! It’s a bloody natural air freshener too!

3. The Serial “Garbage Dumpers”

• The garbage is thrown out, good thing. But I bloody can’t understand why people find it so difficult to lean a bit and throw their dump in the big yellow garbage can provided? Or walk a distance of maybe maximum 5 mins and throw it off in the can? (Pune)

• Its either throw from their apartment balconies (such as mine), or if an individual flat they take the pains to come out of their doors and then throw off the dump just like that. They won’t even care to see if someone is walking below their balconies or flat. (Bangalore)

4. The Serial “Watchers”

• There’s a brawl going on. Some one must have got hurt and must be bleeding profusely and needs immediate medical attention. What do we prefer to do? Stand and watch the show, instead of helping a fellow citizen. Those stupid K serials aren’t enough. We need some more real reality shows. So there you get it. A natural entertainment: watching a person die right in front of their eyes.

Way to go!! Give them applause!! My foot!

5. The Serial “Smokers”

• Smoking is so cool, here down south. Thanks to Mr. Rajnikant (people get inspired by his cigarette throwing antics and all), or other actors who smoke on the screen. Man it looks so cool that people smoke even if they can’t handle it. Of course they learn to handle it later. They then display their styles of blowing the smoke out, either through their nostrils or their mouth after keeping it in their lungs for god knows how long minutes!

• Worst is, people will be coughing while smoking. Not a normal cough, those chronic cough, coughing till their lungs start aching. They cough so pathetically, its almost very late, but still its not realized by them that its high time to try and quit smoking.

• Who suffers? People like me! Secondary smoke is even more harmful. I’ll be dying with them, suffering from cancer. I can’t even avoid inhaling that smoke, however much I try to avoid it. The air is filled with that smoke. In every 5 mins, I find 3-4 smokers. (I observed it while walking to my bus-stop and while waiting for my college bus). The cleanest air I ever breathed after I’ve come from Pune (There are lesser serial smokers there) is in Lalbaugh.

(I’ve excluded the smokes emitted from vehicles; it’s the same in every big city)

I remember getting this mail forwarded by my friends. It was supposedly sent by Mr. A P J Kalam. I do every bit for these matters I can. But what bout those people. I pity those educated people, who even though know everything continue to do the same thing. They don’t do the same when in foreign, I accept that. But then there are many who are so dumb that they do the same in those countries. So what to do bout that now?

I tried explaining people the harms of smoking, but they won’t listen. Mr. Kalam, Please do tell me what to do.

Here comes the worst of all:

6. The Serial “Reservations”

The government is so good. Yea right. I can’t understand the 50% reservation thing. And the dumbest part is, those SC and ST people take up merit seats too, then drop it. And guess what who gets those seats?? The guess is quiet simple: The other SC and ST people. It’s killing the whole education system in India. And it’s said, India has one of the best education system. My foot, with those education system.

The other open category people end up getting nothing here. These open category people (many of them) are really better, and they end up getting no facilities. How do you explain about this Mr. Kalam? What do you expect us to do? The government won’t listen. They want nothing but fill their pockets. I find very less politicians who really want to do something good, for their state, for their country.

Why we just adopt some of US education system too? Like some was adopted in our constitution? Why can’t we keep everything in the form of merit? Why the hell are we still following that stupid reservation? Ok, some of SC and ST are not well to do, but 50% is really too much.

I feel like punching this computer screen cos I like many other open category student have been directly affected by it. We end up getting no seats cos; it’s all reserved for SC and ST. And even if there are free seats left and no one wants to take it, its still left reserved for god knows whose ghosts. It’s such a waste.

No wonder there is brain drain from India to US or UK, but never vice versa. You keep such system and then expect Indians to stay back here? Why stay back when we are getting nothing?

What to do bout this? Take out some silent dharnas, some strikes? Break some public properties like those political followers and cause some more harm? Destroy our own public facilities like them?

India is still developing, till god knows how many long years. It will be still developing I guess even after I’ll have grandchildren.

Why?

It is smothering me. It’s making me hate green more and more. Even though green is not associated with it. It still is becoming synonymous with it, for me. That “it” is Hatred and revenge.

I feel hatred more intensely than happiness or love. When hate comes in, revenge comes in. It’s as if it turns me into a monster.

It all starts with anger. The anger starts making you temporarily insane. So insane, that you are unaware of everything around. Its like that wise turtle said in that movie (Kung fu Panda), it’s only then the mind can think wisely and well when the mind is clear. And anger ruins the calmness.

With that insanity you feel hatred flowing in your blood. Everything feels black. Heart beat is uneven. You feel as if someone is taking over you. Some creature you created yourself, created out of hate and anger. It was created subconsciously, not intended to be created.

That creature takes over you. It shuts out all the ray of happiness and fills it with a weird sensation. A sensation I cannot put in words. It’s as if you’ll never see the sun again. Everything seems dark. You close your eyes and you see nothing but feel hate.

That creature is allowed to be taken over us, over me, in that state of insanity. So much, that it starts rubbing my ego in the wrong manner. So much, that words flow outta my mouth uncontrolled. The words are rude, rash and unkind. It hurts people not intended to.

Once everything is calm, it leaves. It needs that emotion to stay in me. It feeds on that and gives fuel to let it go on for some more time. Once it leaves, I see the site of destruction. Destruction done by me.

Why are those poems written by those poets so famous? The one which is sad… Ode to sadness, pain and what not! Why, even I haven’t been able to write in my happiest mood! I could, only once. And of that creation, I’m very proud. Proud because it’s the most beautiful thing. Proud because I could capture something beautiful. And it did look beautiful.

But then why so rare? I spent my time being happy by doing nothing. Practically nothing. And spent my time when sad by writing something, or doing something.

I’ve tried talking on this with people. I get nothing but philosophical answers. The words (answers) come out easily. But when the same thing strikes them, the words are forgotten, or found hard to follow. Some answers pacify both of us for sometime. But in the end, the same feeling is there within us.

I’m trying to change it. But when I sit down to write something, or do something when I’m very happy, nothing comes out. Nothing but a smile.

Inner Peace ;)

Inner Peace, with myself that is. I can make fun of myself, and laugh at myself. Because no matter what I'll be me, I'll still exist being me. Meaning, I'll love being me. Whoever I am.

I enjoy me. I might hate my skin, or my hair, or whatever. But still its me. I like me, fat or not fat..

Whatever be it, its still me.


Oh yea.. its the Kung-fu Panda (Po) effect!! Loved the movie!

Operation-Size Zero (The Sequel to the Sequel)

Dad got a big bar of Cadbury chocolates for me today..
hmm...

So chocolates is healthy, not cutlets?????

Ok, I had asked him to get one, and he said he'll get it if he remembers!
But still!! Where's the crazy fitness thingy???

They devour it too... So I guess, its allowed!!

Operation-Size Zero, The Sequel

The heights of laziness...

When I was a kiddo, I used to race with my dad, when walking. We used to have that gear thing, "Lets walk at gear 5" (Fastest speed!). I used to trot with my dad, with those small steps of mine, holding his hands, walking all the way in Bilt colony at evenings, with mom behind.

Yesterday, while walking, I thought dad was racing again. It turned out, he wasn't racing, he was just "walking"!

I used to take small steps while walking. And with those steps, walking fast, is REALLY exhausting. I took big steps, distance is cut and I need not run!! ha ha!
I cover lotsa distance in short time, and no exhaustion!! No sweat wasted!!

Then I saw this kiddo. He in his fluorescent green sleeveless shirt and black shorts and white shoes, jogging away. I see him every evening! It was bit embarrassing!
A kiddo is so concerned bout his fitness! (or maybe just training for his sport thing)

Bling!! The realization and determination was so strong than ever then, that I resumed to my short steps (bit longer than the usual one), and walked. To burn those fat!

One-two-one-two...

Operation-Size Zero (Reducing the pota-mas!)

Man! My parents have got that bug too! Well, not exactly the "size zero" thing but something similar. Let me make it simple, the craze to be slim and fit! What the hell! The problem is, its with them (the craze!!), but they are trying to get it in me!!!!

Who the hell cares bout cholesterol? (except for those fitness freaks and my parents!)

Right, it started with me coming back home from class (or waking up after a nap)... "Amma, I'm hungry!"
Then eating something, then putting on fat... (A bit of, cording to me, not them!)
Then started with, "you weren't like that before! You were slim! What will you'll be of 40 years? huh?"
Then dad helps mom, "Yea, She'll stop eating then, and try burning whatever was eaten."
Its a PJ dad!

I just smiled, and shrugged... Hoping, it will be forgotten. But NO! I had to come with them. Where else? To walks!

And then yesterday, I realized, I'm typical Garfield's behen. Monday morning blues which make me even more blue by their walk thingy, every evenings! Then came the realizations... "FAT"!
he he... Fat in my tummy, or the butt (Its the "butt" of joke in my house).. My tummy wud wobble when I walked, my fav pant, wont fit me! It would refuse to fit!! And my muscles in my arms, they are awesome, because, its filled with fat and hangs down!

My eyes opened, and I decided to go for dieting. I made my thoughts know to my parents. They just snorted! They laughed at me... Yea.. diet and me... its next to impossible... But then, I'm determined!

I said my thought aloud, and after 5 mins, I say, "Amma, how bout making some cutlets today??"
"Aaaaaaaand she thought of dieting!"

I mean come on! I had figured that its the healthiest thing in snacks! Its not fried, it has potatoes, some veggies, and then roast it. Done. Less of oil!
It got rejected...

Then starts the "harrasing", "Aditi, get dressed, have to go for walking."
I groan and moan, but they are all deaf to their ears...

"6 rounds today!"
I yell, "6 rounds!!!!?" (It IS too much for me!)

I have to obey. What else can I do? But they can do everything! Stop my snacks in the evening, cos who will cook for me but mom? Best is to obey. Kya pata khush ho ke she might make lasagne! he he

The same thing is gonna repeat today. No prediction, but "rule"!
I'll try skipping few steps by taking short cut, and then, dad will speak something from behind... and again starts the story..

Whatever... Its for my good! He says thee was a news that a small kiddo had to take med for cholesterol!! Eye opener (Kindof!!)

So what else can I do? Put on my walking shoes, tie my hair, plug in my walkman (music keeps me going ;) ) and try and slim down!

Crime Report

4 July, 2008
Friday
5:35 Pm
Telecom Layout
BMTC Bus - 288H

Dressed in a white Tee, and a blue jeans, got out of the bus and started walking towards my apartment. Plugged in to my Walkman, listening to Ghita by Cleopatra (new obsession!), unaware of the people around, and walking as if nothing matters but her voice...

"The coat is inside out
There is no sun above
Nothing is going good
Since I think of Ghita
But Ghita's not in town
I asked why he's not around
It seems to me he's gone
He's gone abroad

Hard, I think it's very hard
Want, I don't know what I want
I know that you like me too
Ghita, what is up with you?
.......
......."

So goes on the song...


5:38Pm
Shriram Shreyas Apt
2nd Entrance

The breeze is pleasant and soft, blowing through my hair, and I'm now enjoying both the breeze and the song. My pace slows.

I change my direction and walk in through the parking lot (Is almost empty!). I change my direction again and walk in through the entrance of D1 block, and get into the proper road.


5:40Pm
Shriram Shreyas Apt
C2 Block (The Scene Site)

A kid is standing. He is bit plump, dressed in a striped shirt and a three fourth. His cycle has fallen at his feet. He is surrounded by kids, both boys and girls. AKA (also known as) BULLIES. I can't hear what they are talking with that music blooming in my ears... I interpreted they are playing.

I was reaching near them, then I saw a kid, thinner and much smaller than that plump kid, throwing a red ball at him. It did hit him hard. Now, that wasn't the way you play right? I paused the music, then I realized, he was being bullied!

I came near them, I gave one of my "disapproving-mom" look to the skinny dodo (who threw the ball). I obviously gave it when he looked at me. The other kids looked at me too, but that guy got my message.

That skinny dodo said, "Abe, abhi bas karo. Jane do use." My look became a BIT softer. I walked pass them now. But another dodo wanted to continue, but the skinny one said forget it, because I was still staring at them even after I passed by.


5:43 Pm
Approaching B1 Block

I resumed my music. This time the music was a background sound. Something else was going on in my head. I couldn't forget that look on the plump boy's face. He looked as if he was about to break from that humiliation. He was on the verge of tears, but he was strong. He had held them back, and letting the moment go. What could he do? It would have been better if he would have fought back.


5:45 Pm
B1 Block
In the lift

I learnt from that Crime scene. I decided, I wont let any skinny or fatty dodo bully me. If someone tries to bully me, I'll be a maha bully than them with them.

Case Closed

Saving the Verve

"Life will always give us what we know we are worth. It never fails to take us at our own valuation."
- Ruskin Bond

Does it?? Does it to everyone?

It fails to give what we are worth many times. So much that the person even finds it difficult to live with the thought that "we should be happy with whatever we have". Even if the thought is accepted, and if tried to be happy with the almost nothing he has, he realises that the happiness he feels is a forced one. Its so unreal that there is tremendous pain in whatever happiness is felt. The pain takes control of entirety, so much that the will to live is lost. The thought of living itself is a burden, and exists just for the sake.

But then, someone says something, or does something for him, which makes him smile. A ray of real happiness. Its enough to bring his will back, even if its a bit. But then even that bit can do wonders. It saves one's verve.