Little Things..

There are those little things that make me so happy... Little insignificant to others, but for me it does make me smile. Some help me keep my faith in things which is on the verge of breaking. And some, make me feel loved and cared.

Saying out those little things helps make some new bond and helps strengthen some old bonds. They touch me so much that its surprising that I have the capacity to feel so much out of so many " normal" things. Normal in others eyes. Somehow they end up being special to mine. Its beautiful to feel them. I won't have some for now, but I do feel for their fairy tales... I feel happy.

For instance, this classmate of mine, who's love is so strong for his girl that he can go to lengths to protect her. Its surprising that their love story started even when I couldn't explain or understand love. They were that young. And its still strong.

Have one friend of mine stare at his girl (who again is a friend). And that look in his eyes says it all. No words required. I can't help feeling wonderful and at the same time feeling what all I've to yet experience and what I missed by being rash at times.

Letting a person know that I find his smile infectious (was not through me) and that I like him (not to take me the wrong way). I was genuinely happy when I saw him in college after a long break. I guess me turning and giving him a broad smile twice said it all. And then yesterday, I acknowledged whatever my other friend told him was right by giving him a knowing smile. He stopping by and talking. Both of us smiling. It made me feel happy all over again (I was sulking ).

Getting hugs from my friends when I miss my mom.

Burying my head in her shoulders when I miss something very bad, to hide my tears in public and she patting my back in response, understanding, and not questioning. Just some calm sound to sooth me.

Teasing me and infuriating to an extent that I'll not look at their faces. And then they making me smile by giving me my favorite chocolate bar. Happy all over again.

A piece of soft sweet music... Listening to it when uncertain and scared. Letting it fill me with peace, like right now. Or listening to a loud rock and walking fast with a friend as a company and letting all the frustrations burn out.

Feeling all these little things has me all grown up. Matured. There is no more of whining. I guess I realized I won't always get what I want. I can still try.

I guess I realized people always go, and I can't always be selfish to keep them.

I really surprise myself by being able to feel so much. All these and much more. Different emotions and situations...

I had allowed myself to believe when people called me emotionless. I was so wrong. I feel much more than others. I have the capacity to feel everything. Capacity to receive and give... I have the capacity to hold myself strong. I am.

I just have to learn to be patient.

Right now, I can enjoy and feel everyone's fairy tale lives around me. Mine will come. With time. I can't help feeling jealous now and then though. I'm with reality. I'll wait for mine.

I learnt to tell all those tiny things that make me happy about others to them. Not keep it in and admire it from distant.

In the end about being happy. No matter what.

Learn. Grow and walk ahead.