Everyone says, "It will be fine"

This has sort of started to irritate me now. "It will be fine." It has to be yes. But what is irritating me is the possibilities and the probabilities. Failing to understand what EXACTLY it is that I want. Failing to recognize what is right and wrong. And then I listen to the ghise pite dialogue, "There is nothing called as right or wrong." 

"Stay positive." Sometimes I wonder if this is similar to being in an illusion. Positive that it will be fine when its "probably" lost. Ignoring the other probabilities because the "right" or the "positive" one makes us feel fine. Its almost like running away from what actually is. Then again, how to know what actually is?

Trying to stay positive is like pretending to me. Pretending everything is going to work out just fine. Like lying to self. And I hate lying. (White lie is acceptable.) When I say this, it is tagged as you are "being negative" when all I say is I am being realistic. At times the lines blur so bad that I fail to see what is right there in front of me and end up feeling helpless.

It seems all messed up. What to believe in and what not to. It is ok I guess to feel scared sometimes. Maybe when they ask to "stay positive",  all they are saying is to "try" and stay happy. Pretending is so tiring and draining. Holds true for staying sad too. So there I get confused! Which one to choose? Whichever works the best for the moment and relieves.

I am different at different times with different people. Sometimes I become different because of some incident or probably because of some subconscious barrier. It used to make me wonder, who really I am. Then I reached a conclusion that I am all of them. I am all of them because I am not a lie at those moments. Pretending is tiring. So probably this is called as being myself. There is no specific one me, still it is me. I wish this was the case with the possibilities too. There are different possibilities, which vary at different times. Vary in different moods. Wish all the possibilities work in my favour, whatever it be. Hopeful? :D

At times I feel when people or I say, "I am trying to stay positive" what they are actually doing without realizing is turning away from the truth. "I am trying to stay positive" = "I don't want to listen to the truth" And saying, It will be fine. Or probably it is not. I can be very wrong. Maybe I'm very paranoid right now because of which probably I am not able to draw a clear line.

The only thing which works right for me right now is being myself. And not trying to be someone else for someone's eyes to see. Whatever gives relief. Controlling, in whichever way or method.

Everyone says, "You will be fine."
I say, "I know I will" instead of , "I hope so."

This is called as being positive eh? :)
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