Understanding Silence

To understand silence I realized I need to accept and forgive. Stick to it and not turn back, ever. And finally understand that, the acceptance is with self. And forgive myself for my tongue.

Pushing myself  aggressively to get something which I am consciously and subconsciously rejecting is never going to work. Doing that is only going to frustrate me more. The pressure is only from self. And there is no one else. This is somehow beautiful.

Life has just begun. There is a plan and there is a passion to do it if not with anything else. The plan is to explore and open up. Being a cynic was not by choice and it is not cool. It killed the music in me and the trust. There is nothing wrong with anything as long as I like it and comfortable with it. Some pick on it, because probably they themselves are not in tune with themselves and have turned into a cynic. Pointing out and trying to make fun of it and make it look small, will probably assure them more that cynic is right. Cynical mind rejects everything saying it has to survive. Its  a coward to accept the change.

The guitar strings are beautiful and so is your mind. Cynic blocked me from seeing it. You come and go, and probably this is the last time I will see you. But I now understand that I need to stop doing what I did till now. And I really hope it doesn't go away with you.

One thing I'm proud about is, I was never immature in my big decisions. All the steps I had taken, with or without someone, it may seem immature to them, never was for me. As we grow, mind grows. And if it turns into a cynic, or ideas change, they will call it immature. I won't. Because I know, at that point, whatever the phase was not immature. I was in my sane mind when I had stepped into it.

Once there is a plan, and even if I can see as far as the car's headlight shines I won't back out or push myself into seeing what is there even if I cannot. After all, this is what baby steps were. My baby steps. I guess this is how I'll slowly find out what I want. I knew what I wanted, and doubts shook it off from balance. This time, no room for that.

A warm sunshine. This is how it is going to be. And this is how it will be. It is never too late for anything. For realizing, some times probably yes. But still never too late. And with this there is this light silence. The ability to sit with zero thoughts, is what meditation? :)

Beauty of human mind.
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