"Giving"

I never knew the art of giving. I like something, I keep it. I could never give it. I would get possessive over it. Be it a pretty red rose or my coin collection (even if I have an extra coin).

I barely knew that person. Just met in some class and was a "hi". The similarity in that friendship till then found was in stamp and coin collection. A week later was my birthday. I got a pretty gift from him. A pretty coin from Singapore. It had a flower on it and was made in the year 1989 (my birth year). A gesture hard to do when you barely know a person. The gesture of giving.

Accepting is easy. Accepting something from a person I mean. But giving is the toughest part. At least with me it is.

I remember an incidence. I was a little kiddo. I was with my parents in Nagpur, to see my sister in her college. After meeting her, we went out for some work. I loved roses. My parents got a rose for me. A pretty red rose. I was happy, smelling its scent. There were beggars around. Maybe they were the forced beggars, I say that cos they were kids. There was this girl, around my age. She saw me having that rose. She came to me, she asked for that rose. I dint want to give. My parents had got it for ME. She followed me. My mother said, give it. I didn't want to. Later I got so pissed with she following me around that I gave it off. I felt very bad. I had tears in my eyes and that girl was very happy and smiling. I complained to my mother that I had wanted it. But then after some time, I forgot it, I felt good that I gave it off to her. I felt better after that. But then, that incidence was still there in my mind, haunting me for my that behavior.

Then after a few years, I went off to Pune. There I was walking with my friend. I plucked some pretty small pink flowers. They smelt great. After the walk we went to her apartment and sat on a place outside, my fav hangout there. A small boy of maybe 6 years old, walked up to us. She said hello to him. I smiled at him. He gave back a shy smile. I remembered that incidence of mine. That smile of that girl. I, this time, without thinking much, held those flowers to him. He was shy, but he accepted it. The big grin he gave me later was awesome. It was cute and a happy one. I felt good. Good after giving something.

I got great happiness from that little boy's grin. I couldn't stop smiling that day. I gave that boy happiness by giving.

But then, that thing wasn't mine. Not something that I owned...

I did realize the importance of giving. But still today I wont be able to give what is owned by me. I cant do something like that friend of mine did. But then to do it, it is a big thing.