Answering the "Why?"

It might be insignificant and not important at this moment. All I know is it gave me some peace, to some extent and helped me understand me better. It will be the same with everyone else too. Just that they won’t be realizing it. No one will be having the patience to stop and think for a while and ask, “Why?”

It did agitate me for many days. “Why?” The change. The behaviour. The distancing. The happiness. The everything. It’s beautiful, the human mind. How it works. I guess the quote was right, “Reality is an illusion”. Illusion because I really didn’t see what I was doing. “Why?” Now I know why.

Its subconscious mind’s game. It’s my own mind’s game.

Something disastrous happens. Obviously it’s not wanted. First thing the mind tries to do is, “refuse”. Refuse to accept it. Refuse to believe it happened. But then some time later, it sets in. And the next thing that mind tires to do is, “block”. Block everything. Every feeling, negativity. Everything that has to do with the disaster. Memories are blocked. There is a slow change in character. Some become passive. Some become tough.

The one who become tough act like nothing had ever happened and they have moved on with their lives. They act as if nothing is stopping them. Nothing actually can. And in actual reality, nothing really can stop them. They refuse to listen to complains. They refuse to go down. They become insensitive to people around them. Insensitive to anything about them. They just don’t care. Distances created. Act indifferent to everything. What they don’t realize is that this is what they are trying to do with themselves to get over the disaster. They are being tough on themselves, not others. They are being insensitive to themselves, not others. That is because they want to go ahead. An attempt to try make themselves strong. Their behaviour is nothing but a reflection on how they actually want their mind to be. What they actually want to be. Just that its not realized. When the question, “why” is put up, then starts the torture to understand. It takes up lot of time. Time is wasted in the process, but then there is some mental peace later. And some more understanding of self. That’s when you will be comfortable with self.

The one who become passive maybe they just go into depression. They are in constant denial. Constant hope that it never really  happened. Constant hope that it will be fine. Maybe be just praying to god, hoping their prayers will be answered when they fail to realize that it’s just them who have to do something.

There is no one but you yourself to say, “Everything will be all right. Trust me”. You are your own motivation.

Sure, distances are created. There is some loneliness because of this indifference and whatever behavior. But then, “Everything will be all right. Trust me.”

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