Stubborn

Today: 13 December, 2009

Sunday

6:10 pm

There is something called as instincts/intuition I guess. I get it, I believe in it. I believe in it because it’s strong and I know it will happen. Sometimes I WANT it to happen. Sometimes is just a feeling. Maybe I feel it because I want it. Consciously or unconsciously I don’t know. All I know is its strong and that it has to happen, no matter what. And it usually does. Instincts/intuitions never go wrong right? It is like a child’s stubborn want.

The pain is horrible when it goes wrong or when it doesn’t work. It’s like all hopes were pinning on it, which is wrong, right? Self torture! What can I do? I’m only being a human.

The pain can be avoided by not being so arrogantly stubborn. But just can’t help it. A want is a tantrum placed on one self, on nature. However impossible it might seem, the want is stubborn. Not caring about the torture I’ll be placing on myself if and when I don’t get it. But the pleasure and the ecstasy I experience when it truly happens is worth taking the chances.

It is like a challenge. Sometimes like a losing battle. Still it is still there, the want. Hope. Belief in the instinct.

Ignoring is not always easy.

Sound like an overgrown child?