It's (me) Ms. Nasty :)

Pondering over this "dialogue". This is exactly how I'm feeling and making me hate society more and more.

"Do you ever feel you've become the worst version of yourself? That a Pandora's Box of all the secret hateful parts-Your arrogance, your spite, your condescension-has sprung open. Someone provokes you and instead of just smiling and moving on, you zing them; "Hello, its Mr. Nasty". " Joe Fox (Tom Hanks)

And this:

"Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could pass my zingers to you and then I would never behave badly, and you could behave badly all the time and both be happy? Then on other hand I must warn you, that when you finally have the pleasure of saying the thing you mean to say at the moment you mean to say it, remorse inevitably follows..."

What is troubling me is this:

I am honest and straight forward. Very much. People have this very bad habit of not listening and then jump on me totally and go from some point to other (emotional blah blahs, I had become like this once upon a time, but wouldn't jump on the person) never talking about the actual thing. What the hell!! What I'm supposed to lie and never tell whatever the hell is the irking me?  I don't understand, once they say "be honest and frank" and later they behave in a different way! The more irritating thing is, they don't practice what they preach! And I used to think I don't know what I want!

The only thing to do in their lives is, talk about people - gossip.

I'm not compatible in this society. I'm "Anti-social" then.

So be it. I'm happy being that.

Tired of "tying" to fit in. Why should I "adjust"? As always I'll be exact me, no matter what. Will try and count 10 when provoked (avoiding feeling remorse, its a torture to myself). Better to shut up than bark along with them. There has to be a difference between them and me. After all, its me!

Society wants to talk, talk. What do I have to loose? I'll respond only when poked to talk. I'll be frank and exact. Think whatever. Hell do i care from now on! My being frank and honest is being mean and rude, then hell I am that! (Be sensitive, but stop being over sensitive)

I'm proud of being that.

I can't believe that I had begun doubting about myself because of this society! Being too much with the society, you almost become one of them. Character wise, behavior wise.
 

No more.


Tell me things then and there, don't come to me hours or days later. I won't even care if they hate me. Spent enough energy on this and realized its not worth.


Poke only if you can handle, I'll talk. Till then, recluse.